Beliefs Of A Good Democrat
1. You have
to be against capital punishment,
but support abortion on demand.
2. You have
to believe that businesses create
oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have
to believe that guns
in the hands of
law-abiding Americans
are more of a
threat than nuclear weapons technology
in the hands of
Chinese and Korean communists.
4. You have
to believe that there was no art
before Federal
funding.
5. You have
to believe that global temperatures
are more
affected by
soccer moms driving
SUVs
than cyclical,
documented changes in
the earth's climate.
6. You have
to believe that gender roles
are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have
to believe that the AIDS virus is
spread by a lack of
federal funding.
8. You have
to believe that the same teacher
who can't teach fourth graders how to read
is somehow
qualified
to teach those
same kids about sex.
9. You have
to believe that hunters don't care about nature but loony activists,
who have never
been outside of San
Francisco, do.
10. You have
to believe that self-esteem
is more
important than
actually doing
something to earn it.
11. You have
to believe that Mel Gibson
spent $25 million
of his own money
to make
'The Passion of the Christ'
for financial gain.
12. You have
to believe the NRA is bad
because it supports certain parts of the Constitution,
while the ACLU is
good
because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have
to believe that taxes are too
low,
but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have
to believe that
Margaret
Sanger and Gloria Steinem
are more important to American
history
than
Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have
to believe that
standardized tests are
racist
but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have
to believe that Hillary
Clinton is
normal and is a
very nice person.
17. You have
to believe that
the only reason
socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it has ever been tried
is because
the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have
to believe conservatives telling the
truth
belong in jail,
but a liar and sex offender belongs
in the White House.
19. You have
to believe that
homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and beastiality
should be constitutionally protected,
and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have
to believe that illegal,
Democrat
Party funding
by the Chinese
Government
is somehow in
the best interest to the United States.
21. You have
to believe that this message
is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have
to believe that it's okay
to give Federal workers
Christmas Day
off
but it's
offensive to say
'Merry Christmas'.